Thinking a lot. xD And being a normal spazzzy spazz.
He said he wanted to try, he was going to try…no promises but he was going to try. I just need to trust him.
I am going to do that. I am going to try to relax and do that.
I just have my concerns, and I already voiced them but no doubt I will voice them again. xD
You might regret this talking about everything thing! :P
There’s moreeee but I’m pretty sure I said it all alreadyyy. xD Another reason why you might wanna facepalm a lot. xD
But…I just…yeah. I did…I censored myself all year, even here, in case you were reading I would change things well basically not say them..but nowww :P
Ahh. Going to stop though. Looking forward to well, summer and such. All packed up and ready to go! Tanktop and shortsss, perfecttt gah can’t wait for swimmming which will happen sooner then well! Yay.
But I should probably get some sleep considering. Also, my appetite came back today for a little bit so I guess that’s good considering since wednesday I’ve eaten all of… xD a can of ravolli andd a piece of toast. >.>
Kinda have been neglecting food and things….just haven’t been hungry or really much of anything besides emotional and thinky. >.<’ Took awayyy everything else. >.>
Yikessss. >.< I didn’t think about that till now.
But yeahhh, have to do amherst stuff when I wake up and yeahhh.
I do think I want to find my phone thoughh and go through that with himmm and my box at some point, but there’s time for thattt. I forgottt a few things… and then I remembered with all this thinking so I wannna talk about that tooo.
Yerp yerpppp, but yeahh… sleep …considering the doorbell will be ringing in a few hours. Maybe I will be dead and not wake up, ahhh,. I should call in my refill for the morning, and then ask if I could make a side stop…or something. Though not sure if it’ll refill in time or whatm y health insurance is….but yeahhh. I needed it yesterdayyy, so probably should get on thatttt.
And I reallly need to pee but I don’t want to get up, I just want to sleep becasue if I pee I might feel like I still have topee…andd yeah…
need my brain to be quiet. I need quiet but not the quiet that is loud, the quiet that is quiet.
Doctor Who break with Mom, then going to see how much I can get done.
Taking a shower and things tonight. Nate is coming home early, so. Yeah…packing and stuff I guess too.
It’s fineee, talk when talk and he’s right…with that logic it’d be cutting the time in which we talk too, and that’s bad.
But damn I really wanted my days beforehand. Oh well, they’re going to happen anyways and it’s not like I’m not going to be happy spending time xD
Might as well take a shower now..I just wanted to hush my thoughts for a whileee and I lovee when , I’m just thinking actually about
oh my god
THE DRAWING THE DRAWING OH MY GOD>
Amherst stuff when mom wakes up….then I don’t know. Taking a shower and getting ready if it’s a yes, but won’t know either way until she talks to Susan…..still will have to take a shower anyways and get ready for tomorrow if it’s a no.
Gotta figure out Amherst things when mom comes home which is hopefully either today or tomorrow… then talk to her and stuff and need to figure out how I’m getting to his house on monday.
Wrote out a lot more in this post but then I was like meh, I’m gonna tell him anywayy. xD
With no idea how to explain and stumbling alonggg. xD But yeah. Trying to relatively calm till then.
Crazy emotions with these chain reactions man.
There has been a lot to think about. And I guess this is a place to hold my thoughts as I have them, but I don’t need it really anymore since I am being open and sharing everything and not going to bury it down in these posts, or posts I never actually post. It’s a deal, and I am going to do that. And trust. But maybe I’ll visit when I need to make sure to write something down that bothered me or a long thought I need to tell him.
I hope he’ll be okay I guess is the thought I have right now. I’m trying not to think too much considering but !
Maybe I can go back Monday as to have a few days before Nate gets back, since he’s getting back Wednesday and it’ll be three days thenn.
Then the three days a week thing will be a lot easier to manage as to with things and yeah. I’m trying to not think too much ahead in the future though so just gonna I ddunnnoo.
I guess we’ll figure it out! I’ll talk to him about it eventually, probably when I wake up but. xD Ya know.
I can’t wait to see him to talk with him more!!!! God damnit, I will voice my feelings all over the place about that actually more later so. I think monday is a good day, yep yep but it’s all up to what he wants to do. Figure it out when figure it out.
ksfj;asklfj.I’m trying really hard to stop fixating thoughh because what is that going to help? xD
Ahhh, so nervous. >.< I just ate toast….>.< about it today. Ahhh.
Shower and things now!
Gonna reverse thatttt. Getting my wow fix nowww, and shower and things when it gets closer to the time. :) Hehehee. Nineish hours till I see himmm, JSKLFJ:LFKJDFKLJDF
Shower and things sooon, I guess. >.<’ Figuring out what’s happening. Then probably playing WoW till whenever andd yeahh… trying to contain my excitement because yeahh.
Ahhhh sleep time. :) so excited !!! aklfj;sklfj;sklf . hehehe
Hehehe, watching some tv and packing! :) <3 Thennn yeah allll the prettifying stuff later today but yeahhh. :D
^_^ It’s almost midnight…ish. Haha, sort of. But still ! :P Still have to pack and stuffff , gonna shower and do things tomorrow thoughhh. :P Pack tonight probablyyyy~ ^_^